The Man Whom the King Delighteth to Honor

spectrummagazine.org | 2/14/2018 | Staff
max1max1 (Posted by) Level 4
Like many other LGBT+ Christians, I lived my life trying to be heterosexual. It was a common teaching that being gay, or committing homosexual acts, was an abomination to God. No one wanted to be an abomination to God, of course. We were taught that if we had enough faith God would “cure” us of our “adverse” sexual orientation. We learned that our sexual orientation was a choice that we had made, even if we had no recollection of ever making that decision. Notwithstanding, we were expected to make the decision to be heterosexual every day of our lives, and oftentimes multiple times a day. Do straight people have to make the decision to stay straight every day, I would wonder to myself?

Being an avid Bible reader, I could not help but feel condemned by it. In my younger years, when my sexuality was but a whisper in the wind, the Bible was full of awesome stories and fantastical feats. It spoke of a man, named Jesus, who seemed really cool and very loving. However, as I progressed into my teen years, when my sexual orientation became more evident, reading the Bible was like stabbing myself in the heart with a rusty, dull dagger at each sitting. Reading about a “God of Love” didn’t ease the pain of knowing that just a few chapters away God was reminding me that He hated who I was. As a natural consequence to all of this negativity and condemnation, my teen and early adult years were eventually plunged into a dark pit of depression.

Point - Attempt - Suicide - Glimmer - Hope

Just before I hit my lowest point, and ultimately an attempt at suicide, I did receive a small glimmer of hope. While I was learning to hate everything that I was and everything that I liked; when I began demanding...
(Excerpt) Read more at: spectrummagazine.org
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