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On Tuesday, Bachelor in Paradise season 3 premiered, fulfilling all of our hopes and dreams of spending the summer watching Bachelor and Bachelorette castaways hook up with and discard each other in a steady, seamless rotation, week by week. It's a beautiful disaster and we can't look away, so for that, we thank you, ABC.
Course - Season - Show - Signature - Abundance
Of course, the two-hour season premiere boasted the show's signature abundance of alcohol, sloppy make-out sessions and tear-soaked confessionals, but what everyone will undoubtedly be talking about is the return of Chad Johnson, perhaps the franchise's most infamous (read: hated) character.
If you watched JoJo Fletcher's season of The Bachelorette, you probably know a few things about Chad. Chad is highly aggressive. He eats a lot of meat. He once threatened to "come find" one of the guys after the show, and he also once threatened to cut everyone's legs and arms off. Some of you might feel a tiny bad for Chad – maybe all those guys were picking on him, right?
Nope - Wrong - So - Chad - Bit
Nope. Wrong. So, so wrong. Chad is actually every bit as alarmingly offensive as he comes across and as we learned all too quickly, the sunny beaches of Mexico bring out the absolute worst in him. (Well, they did warn us.)
BiP - Premiere - Opening - Sequence - Almost
It wouldn't be a BiP premiere without the '80s-themed opening sequence, so crank up "Almost Paradise" and try to forget you're going to have to watch Daniel pouring maple syrup all over his glistening, Canadian body, every week.
This season's charter contestants include twins Emily and Haley (they still say everything in unison), Nick (he will never not best-known as be the guy who came in second on The Bachelorette twice), Evan (still an erectile dysfunction expert), Amanda (still a mom just trying to find love) and Daniel,...
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