Breaking Free from Unhealthy Cycles

Pastors.com | 8/10/2012 | Website
oxboy (Posted by) Level 4
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Coming into marriage, we brought in our individual hurts from the past. We both had low self-esteem and a dysfunctional view on what a family was supposed to look like. We bought into the lie that marriage would fix all our problems; in reality, it only amplified the issues we needed to face.

When things got tough due to my (Rodney) core beliefs that “I am not enough” resonating in my heart, I slipped into the protection of performance and proving to the world that I was enough. As a result, I hid myself in my work and became a workaholic. This caused an emotional separation between my wife and me. My false understanding of my identity and my low self-esteem affected how I treated her. One day, I came home to an empty house—my wife had left me, and we were on the brink of divorce. There had been so much damage done, I thought that there was no hope for reconciliation, much less a healthy marriage.

Carol - Walls - Masks - Years - Months

I (Carol) retreated behind my familiar emotional walls and masks. Within three and a half years of getting married, we were separated. A few months into our separation, I agreed to Rodney’s repeated attempts to reconcile. We got into marriage counseling and started attending a healthy church.

We started attending Celebrate Recovery®, and I (Rodney) went through the steps with great leaders, as God began working in me. I was able to identify patterns of isolation and depression that easily entrapped me. Through this process, I learned that I needed to surrender my entire life and will to Christ’s care. Working through these steps enhanced my relationship with not only Christ, but also with my wife and children.

Carol - Celebrate - Recovery - Step - Study

I (Carol) also joined a Celebrate Recovery Step Study group. As I trustingly followed the process, I began...
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