Ten Fun Things to Do This Summer Other Than Go to War with Iran

cobra662cobra662 (Posted by) Level 3
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Looking for some creative summer weekend plans and keep coming back to the possibility of military intervention in Iran? Before you pencil that in, consider these less-expensive alternatives that are just as much fun!

Buy a sailboat, fully outfit it for a sea voyage, and deliberately sink it in Chesapeake Bay! You’ll have all the fun of spending a lot of money on a complicated and fruitless endeavor, but it will be much less money than you would have if you’d sent in the troops, and your adventure is unlikely to encourage recruitment to Ansar-e-Hezbollah or result in the deaths of foreign nationals!

Go - Kite - Kite-flying - Ages - Feelings

Go fly a kite! Kite-flying is fun for all ages, and if you find that you still have some of those war-with-Iran feelings, you can always coat the string with glass and try to use it to attack seagulls.

Become a pacifist to own the just war theorists. You may or may not be philosophically correct, but you’ll piss Oliver O’Donovan all the way off and you’ll save your pennies!

Paleocon - Neocons - Bit - Nineties - Pat

Become a paleocon to own the neocons. You can be a little bit nostalgic for both the Nineties when Pat Buchanan was in his salad days and all these nasty friend-enemy distinctions within the anti-fusionist Right hadn’t been drawn, and at the same time for an imaginary Fifties of ambiguously wholesome Americanism, and wear a lot of bow ties, and you won’t actually get anyone killed!

Shave John Bolton’s mustache while he sleeps.

Figure - Part - Mars - Moon - Fr

Figure out which part of Mars the Moon is on; then enlist Fr. Sciarappa to tweet threats to blow up that part of Mars.

Help your kids start a lemonade stand– even if you live on the Hill! Who says city kids can’t make a buck the old fashioned way? Set up a...
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