Florida Man Caught Stealing and Having Sex with Pool Floats, Says He Did it So He Wouldn’t Rape

Rare | 6/18/2019 | Rob Fox
ditranian (Posted by) Level 3
Click For Photo: https://coxrare.files.wordpress.com/2019/06/florida-man-sex-pool-floats.jpg?w=1200&h=627&crop=1

A 35-year-old Florida man has been arrested for stealing and having sex with dozens of swimming pool floats. Why was this man putting his **** into the summertime aquatic toys of children? Because, according to him, if he wasn’t humping rafts shaped like food and holes of pool noodles he’d instead be sexually assaulting women. It was all a tactic so that he could control himself.

That’s actually what Christopher Monnin told police. That he was having sex with pool floats to keep everyone else safe. Whether or not that’s true the police were still pretty much like, “That’s well and good but you stole stuff and had sex with it so we still have to arrest you. Just… for less than the alternative, we guess.”

Connection - Theft - Pool - Floats - Palm

Though he has only been charged in connection with the theft of 13 pool floats in the Palm Bay, Florida area investigators...
(Excerpt) Read more at: Rare
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