‘Dark Phoenix’ Review: An Xhausting and Xcruciating End to the X-Men

Breitbart | 6/7/2019 | Staff
roxy2707 (Posted by) Level 3
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Unless you insist on counting the Deadpool films, Dark Phoenix is not only only the ninth X-Men movie, it is the worst by a country mile.

And, sadly, it will be the last in a series that has been with us since X-Men started it all a whole 19 years ago in 2000.

How long ago is that?

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The World Trade Center stood, Hillary Clinton was America’s first lady, and there were only two Law & Orders on the air.

Dark Phoenix will be the last because our heroes have been defeated by a super-villain no one can stop, the Greed Monster called Disney, which swallowed 20th Century-Fox whole earlier this year.

Characters - Universe - Marvel - Cinematic - Universe

Oh, the characters will be all be back, but in a completely new universe; the Marvel Cinematic Universe — so Dark Phoenix is, in fact, a goodbye to the X-Men as we know them.

Dark Phoenix is also an injustice to movie fans all over the world, because debate and discussion is one of the great pleasures of being a movie fan and Dark Phoenix has forever ended the argument over which X-Men sucks the hardest.

X-Men - Origins - Wolverine - X-Men - Stand

I happen to like X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) and even enjoy X-Men: Last Stand (2006). A lot of people don’t. We all pretty much agree X-Men: Apocalypse is a disappointment, but, still, it has its moments. During these back and forths I like to make the snobby purists gasp by announcing that The Wolverine (2013), is tedious, forgettable, and no fun whatsoever, which puts it at the bottom of my list.

I’m going to miss all of that.

Dark - Phoenix

How bad is Dark Phoenix?

It’s Superman IV: The Quest for Peace bad.

Captain - Marvel - Spider-Man

It makes the dreadful Captain Marvel look like Spider-Man 2 bad.

It’s so bad, poor little Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence,...
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