Letter to a Trapped Husband

Blog & Mablog | 5/22/2019 | Douglas Wilson
roxy2707 (Posted by) Level 3
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Thanks for the letter. It is good hear from you, and yes, I do have a few thoughts on your situation. We have your wife’s perspective already—Nancy has related to me the outlines of what Angie has been posting on social media for the last six months. The bottom line there is that she says you are a tyrant and an abuser, and that your three teen daughters agree with her completely. In your letter you assure me that nothing like abuse has ever happened, and that what we are reading on social media is either a total fabrication, or is a story with some nugget of truth at the core, but which has been distorted out of all recognition.

Now we live in an era where the official line is “believe all women.” This is a radically unbiblical approach—the biblical process is to “believe all evidence.” Now assuming just for a moment that your wife’s account is true, which it certainly could be, I think we can safely say that to ventilate all her complaints online is a drastically poor way to handle things. It looks like a play for emotional support, and not very much like a plea for a judicious sorting of facts.

Victims - Situation - Advice - Victim - Advocates

Nevertheless, genuine victims sometimes react badly to a bad situation, or they get terrible advice from self-appointed victim advocates, and so they take this approach of public recrimination. So after we got your letter, I asked Nancy to email Angie to let her know we would really like to hear both sides, and to ask her if we could help in any way—if we could provide some marriage counseling, in other words. The reply she got last night was somewhere between “mind your own business” and “drop dead.” So whatever road Angie is on, she is...
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