Mayor Pete Has Stolen Beto’s Media Date to the Dance

DB DAILY UPDATE | 4/12/2019 | Staff
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Why, what could possibly go wrong? – A team of Chinese scientists is grafting human genes into monkeys, in an effort to make them “smarter and more human-like.” I swear I don’t make this stuff up.

According to the report in the Business Recorder, “Researchers edited the human version of a gene known as ‘MCPH1’ into the macaques. The gene made the monkeys’ brain develop along a more human-like timeline. The gene-hacked monkeys showed better reaction times and improved short-term memories in comparison to their unaltered peers...” I smell a sequel to “Plant of the Apes” in there somewhere.

Seriousness - Monkeys - Candidacy - Democrat - Nomination

In all seriousness, these monkeys should immediately announce their candidacy for the Democrat presidential nomination. They would smarter than half the field, better-behaved that Irish Bob O’Rourke, make a great target for Amy Klobuchar to vent her frustrations, and be far more “human-like” than Joe Biden or Bernie Sanders.

And speaking of Irish Bob O’Rourke… – Here’s the problem with being a media-created Democrat “Rising Star”: Everything tends to go to **** when the media inevitably finds a new rising star to create. For our hero, Irish Bob, it’s all turning into a tale of woe – or, more accurately, one of woeful polls that came out yesterday in the states that make up the first two contests of the nominating process.

Monmouth - University - Poll - Democrat - Voters

First came a new Monmouth University poll of registered Democrat voters in Iowa, where O’Rourke spent the first week or so of his official campaign in March, driving around the corn fields in his carbon dioxide-emitting gas-powered van because he wanted to show he was a man of the people and the people in Iowa don’t drive no Teslas because Teslas don’t use no Ethanol, don’t you know. That pandering strategy apparently did not work out so well for our sheep suit-wearing fake...
(Excerpt) Read more at: DB DAILY UPDATE
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