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Looking for volunteers for your Children’s Ministry? Checking them out is important. However, it’s also important that we keep God’s perspective in mind as we evaluate volunteers (or staff!). Here’s a little fun to help us keep perspective:
Adam: Good man but problems with his wife. Also one reference told of how his wife and he enjoyed walking in the woods wearing nothing but fig leaves.
Noah - Former - Pastorate - Years - Convert
Noah: Former pastorate of 120 years with not even one convert. Prone to unrealistic building projects.
Abraham: Though the references reported wife-swapping, the facts seem to show he never slept with another man’s wife, but did offer to share his own wife with another man.
Joseph - Thinker - Braggart - Dream-interpreting - Prison
Joseph: A big thinker, but a braggart, believes in dream-interpreting, and has a prison record.
Moses: A modest and meek man, but poor communicator, even stuttering at times. Sometimes blows his stack and acts rashly. Some say he left an earlier church over a murder charge.
David - Leader - Affair - Neighbor - Wife
David: The most promising leader of all until we discovered the affair he had with his neighbor’s wife.
Solomon: Great preacher but our relocation costs for all his wives are out of our budget.
Elijah - Prone - Depression - Pressure
Elijah: Prone to depression. Collapses under pressure.
Elisha: Reported to have lived with a single widow while at his former church.
Hosea - Tender - Pastor - People - Wife
Hosea: A tender and loving pastor, but our people could never handle his wife’s occupation.
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Deborah - Leader
Deborah: Strong leader and seems to be anointed, but she is female.
Jeremiah: Emotionally unstable, alarmist, negative, always lamenting things, reported to have taken a long trip to bury his underwear on the bank of a foreign river.
Isaiah - Fringe - Claims - Angels - Church
Isaiah: On the fringe? Claims to have seen angels in church. Has trouble with his language.
Jonah: Refused God’s call into ministry until he was forced to obey...
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Never under estimate the power of the people, especially when they are a stupid mass!