Wits’ Ends Day: Email Fantasies

RevGalBlogPals | 3/20/2019 | Staff
ziggy1023 (Posted by) Level 3
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Is it weird that I kind of look forward to opening up my church email each morning? These little electronic messages are filled with so much possibility! Maybe someone is offering a generous gift to the church or sharing an insight from Sunday’s sermon. Maybe there is an invitation to a fabulous event or a “yes” to a request I sent out the day before.

Or maybe there’s a “no” and a comment about how I “need more Jesus” in my sermons and an invitation to a mediocre event that I don’t want to attend but probably should because . . . I’m the pastor.

Emails - Bag - Examples - Email - Subject

So, yeah. Emails are a mixed bag. And unfortunately, you can’t be sure what you’re getting into until you open them. Here are a few examples of email subject lines that look promising, but will probably turn out to be disappointing:

What I imagine the email might say:

Birthday - Money - Bible - Rest - Life

I am really excited to spend my birthday money on a new Bible that I can study and cherish for the rest of my life. I’m a little confused about all of the different translations available and wondered if you have any recommendations. Thanks!

What the email probably says:

Hey

Hey.

Nobody ordered the third grade Bibles and we need to give them out this Sunday. Can you drive to that Christian Bookstore sixty miles away to get them? I would, but I don’t want to.

Email

What I imagine the email might say:

I have been prayerfully considering my spiritual gifts and feel called to serve the church more intently. I would love to serve wherever the church needs me most. I hope we can talk soon about how I can step up and serve God and our community through the important work of...
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