How to Fight Anger in Motherhood

The Gospel Coalition | 2/20/2019 | Staff
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My twin sons scooted close to one another at the breakfast table as I poured milk over their cereal. Bouncing off of each other, they bumped arms and laughed. My toddler banged her hands on the table, screaming for her sippy cup, while my older son demanded I locate his drawing from yesterday. One of my twins erupted, “Hey! Stop touching me! Stop sitting close to me! Mooomm!”

My anger boiled over into a yell before we’d even finished the first bites of breakfast: “Guys, knock it off!” Guilt set in immediately. I’d done it again.

Case - Scenes - Play - House - School

While I wish it wasn’t the case, scenes like this play out at our house more often than I’d like. When we leave for school, when we clean up the house, when it’s bedtime, when it’s mealtime. Perhaps you can relate?

Here are a few principles that help me navigate anger in the little years.

Anger - Sin - Eph - Hearts - Things

Not all anger becomes sin (Eph. 4:26). When our hearts rise up against things that God hates—wicked, disobedient, unloving behavior—we model our righteous and just God. When our children complain about their circumstances or inflict pain on others, we are right to be upset. Anger over the right things for the right reasons can remind us of our vital job to teach our kids to hate wickedness, too. But this righteous anger is never an excuse to treat our children harshly.

Also, not all yelling is sin. If our children run into a busy street, I’m going to yell their names as loudly and forcefully as I can. Screaming their names might save their lives. In this we also image God, who gives us strong warnings when our lives hang in the balance (Rom. 6:23).

Basis - Coffee - Kids

But on a daily basis, when we just haven’t had enough coffee and our kids are wrestling again, yelling as...
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