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I sat with a pillow hugged against my chest, shielding myself from all the things that hurt after my unexpected and unwanted divorce.
“Just tell me how to heal. Like a 1-2-3 kind of plan. I’m a really good student–I don’t want to brag but I did win the Teacher’s Pet award my senior year of high school, so like, I know I can do it. Just tell me how to heal.”
Therapist - Healing - Journey - Process
“It doesn’t work like that” replied my now-not-so-favorite therapist. She continued, “Healing is a mysterious journey. You just have to trust the process.”
My immediate response:
Trust - Did - Thanks
“Trust? Did that once and here we are. No thanks.
A journey? That’s code for messy, hard and unpredictable. Also no thanks.
Mysterious - Nope - Concrete - Thank - Plan
Mysterious? Nope. I would like concrete and clear-as-day thank you very much. So the 1-2-3 plan, please?”
Three years later and my therapist knew a thing or two. Healing is a mysterious journey that requires trusting the process. It’s not always easy to see the progress because it’s so small and inconspicuous most days, but here are five ways you can tell you’re healing:
1. You lead with your wound less often.
For a long time I found it necessary to let every person I talked to–and I mean every person–know that I am a divorced single mom of three. I didn’t just blurt it out but I did make sure it came up somehow. Like when the eye doctor asked if I was fatigued I replied with “Yeah, I’m a single mom! Of course I’m fatigued!” A simple ‘yes’ would have sufficed. You know you’re healing when your wound is a part of your story but not your front page story.
2. You have dreams.
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Not only do you have dreams for the future, but you’re excited about them. They seem attainable. When you’re stuck, dreams feel insurmountable...
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With God all things are possible, but not probable.