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Something for the Weekend, Sir? I want to be your backdoor man. Or so asserted Robert Plant at the end of Whole Lotta Love. Hey ho.
As a blissfully unaware child, I would sing along to these lyrics – emerging from behind the sofa once track 1's "scary bit" was over – and never bothered to consider the full import of Bob's proposition until I was much older. Much later, and perhaps similarly pondering the career implications of doing so, Leona Lewis failed to lay claim to any such backdoor rights during the closing ceremony of the Beijing Olympics in 2008.
Matter - Spirit - Led - Zeppelin - Lawmakers
No matter. The original spirit of 1969 Led Zeppelin has just been revived by antipodean lawmakers. It seems the Australian government wants to be your backdoor man too.
While the rest of the free world (oh, you know what I mean) has managed to beat back repeated looming legislative threats to end-to-end encryption, Oz parliamentarians on both sides of the political divide rushed it through, deliberately without deliberation, in time for Christmas. Hurrah for the western forces of good, globally renowned for its honest politicians, restrained security services and incorruptible police!
Problems - Law - Readers - Yourselves - Fact
It is surely unnecessary for me to outline the problems with such a shortsighted law to readers such as yourselves. Come to think of it, the very fact that you can read at all suggests that you are already smart enough to understand that doors are structurally and intrinsically less secure than solid walls.
Even a politician with the IQ of a preschooler and who believes in preposterous computer fairy tales such as 'artificial intelligence' will be familiar with Ali Baba's method of gaining entrance to the thieves' den, i.e. entering the poetic equivalent of password1234. Building a backdoor into encryption means anyone can be a backdoor man, not just Australian civil servants...
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