Hidden Valley Releases Giant, Gluttonous Ranch Bottle for the Holidays

Rare | 11/13/2018 | Rob Fox
Frost123 (Posted by) Level 3
Click For Photo: https://coxrare.files.wordpress.com/2018/11/giant-hidden-valley-ranch-bottle.png?w=1200&h=627&crop=1

If you’re worried that this winter you won’t gain your traditional twenty pounds gorging on cookies, ham, eggnog, pie, leftovers, beer, and whatever weird special food your family likes to have for holidays, don’t worry — you can buy a whole half-gallon of ranch dressing from Hidden Valley to make sure you’re good and blubbered up for the winter.

Hidden Valley is selling a limited edition, magnum-sized bottle of ranch dressing for the holidays. It’s got enough sodium and fat to immediately send an Olympic swimmer into cardiac arrest. In fact, it’s not entirely clear that a ranch arm won’t burst forth from the bottle and rip your heart straight out of your chest, Temple of Doom style.

Magnum - Wine - Bottle - Capacity - Bottles

Though magnum technically means, “a large wine bottle having a capacity of two ordinary bottles or 1.5 liters (1.6 quarts)” you can’t help but get vaguely sexual vibes from having the moniker attached. Ranch is food lube — it’s the dip that comes with a veggie tray solely...
(Excerpt) Read more at: Rare
Wake Up To Breaking News!
Drove my Ford to the fjord, but the fjord was dry. . .
Sign In or Register to comment.

Welcome to Long Room!

Where The World Finds Its News!