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Powdered sugar isn’t usually an ingredient you find dusted on the top of a birthday cake, and apparently, the reason for that is because it might lead to your face melting off? It turns out that any fine powder is flammable, actually — including powdered sugar. Putting it on a birthday cake, with lit candles that are meant to be blown out, may very well lead to some disastrous pyrotechnics, or at least a surprise eyebrow erasing.
Obviously, the important thing to do with this information is to figure out how to use it to trick and terrify your children. My vote is to spend years — years — telling your daughter that the 13th birthday is the “Witch’s Birthday.” That’s the day when a witch’s power manifests. Go deep in on this. When she says that no one else has ever heard of the Witch’s Birthday tell her it’s a family thing. A dark family secret. Put this **** on Wikipedia. Make a sketchy website detailing your...
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