A sex therapist says many people feel so guilty about cheating that they passive-aggressively try to get caught

Business Insider | 7/12/2018 | Shana Lebowitz
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Ashley Madison is a website for married people seeking affairs. Sex therapist Tammy Nelson is its resident relationship expert.

Nelson said some cheaters are so overwhelmed by the pressure to keep the affair secret that they passive-aggressively try to get caught.

Nelson - Clients - Affairs - Parts - Lives

Nelson tries to help clients who are having affairs re-integrate seemingly separate parts of their lives — like their desire to be a good partner and their desire to be flirty.

When Tammy Nelson sees clients who are having affairs, she often observes that they're in some kind of existential crisis.

Fact - Intimate - Relationship - Someone - Partner

But it's not necessarily about the fact that they're having an intimate relationship with someone other than their partner, Nelson said. "Because a lot of people feel like they don't want to have sex with the same person for the rest of their life."

Instead, she said, "it's the dishonesty. It's really painful to you, not just to other people."

Nelson - Sex - Relationship - Therapist - Years

Nelson is a sex and relationship therapist; after about 30 years in practice, she recently joined Ashley Madison, a website for people seeking affairs, as an outside consultant.

"It's hard not to live in integrity," Nelson said. And as a result, many people in this situation try — albeit passive-aggressively — to get caught.

Computer - Phone - Nelson

"They leave their computer open; they leave their phone out," Nelson said....
(Excerpt) Read more at: Business Insider
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