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After weeks of teasing, Senate Democrats will finally take decisive action on bringing back net neutrality on Wednesday – by holding a pointless vote.
"BREAKING," yelled Senator Ed Markey (D-MA) on Twitter. "The Senate's vote to save Net Neutrality will take place this Wednesday, May 16th. Keep raising your voices for the free and open internet. The fight is on!"
Course - Congress
Of course Congress defines "fight" a little differently to you and I.
Telling people several weeks in advance that you intend to run in a brick wall, then telling them you'll run into the wall next Wednesday, then changing your mind, then saying at some point next week you'll run into the wall, and then finally announcing that this Wednesday you'll run into the brick wall – doesn't normally constitute a fight in the wider world.
Plus - Democrats - Neutrality - Advocates - Effort
But the big plus, Democrats and net neutrality advocates tell us, is that we will be able to see who is cheering on the wall-charging effort and who is either opposed or indifferent to someone smashing their face into a solid vertical structure.
You just have to ignore the fact that we already know who is pro and anti wall-smashing.
Chance - Someone - Wall - Wall - Behind
Plus there is an outside chance that overnight someone might decide to dismantle the wall, revealing another wall behind, so we would all be able to celebrate the fact that there is one less wall that we can fail to knock down.
At the heart of the pointless vote is a resolution that would reverse the FCC's efforts to reverse its own rules covering net neutrality.
Congressional - Review - Act - CRA - Piece
It uses the Congressional Review Act (CRA), which was an obscure piece of legislation passed in 1996 that had been used only once in 2001 before it became de rigeur for Republicans in 2017 as loophole legislation to reverse recent decisions by the Obama Administration.
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